Send Us a Blindfold, Send Us a Blade
by Queen Gabby
Summary: Hawke is a jovial and brazen mage with a mischievous spark in her eye - who just so happens to be in love with perhaps the most stubborn man she'd ever met. What happens when that spark dulls, and the world goes black? "If the Maker can see me right now, I hope he knows that he certainly has a bad sense of humor."
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR NOTE: okay so this is kind of a test...I'm in the midst of writing the whole story and I really don't know how it'll all turn out. I've become addicted to Dragon Age, and even moreso to Fenris. I've had this idea in my head for a while, so I hope you all enjoy! Feel free to review, or simply comment. I would love feedback.**

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><p>There were two kinds of people at the Hanged Man – the quick and the hungry. Or at least, that's what Hawke said every time they sat down for a meal at the filthy tavern. Fenris doubted Corff ever ran out of food, since the only people he ever saw eating it were his other companions. Hawke's group had gained most of their notoriety for constantly eating whatever sludge Corff decided to call stew that day.<p>

"Seven bowls of the stew, Norah!" Hawke called to the barmaid as she took her place near the head of the table.

Norah watched the group sit down, re-lighting some of the candles in the middle of the table that had gone out.

"And seven steins of your finest brew" Varric chimed in, taking his seat at the head of the table next to Hawke. The dwarf exchanged smirks with Hawke while the rest of their companions filed in.

Fenris sat on Hawke's right, and Aveline sat opposite of her from across the table. When Merrill arrived moments later, she took her seat next to (a reluctant) Fenris. In the beginning, Fenris had vehemently objected to being seated next to Merrill. Hawke's response to the outburst had alleviated some of his anger and replaced it with horror when she said: _it's either this or you'll have to sit next to Anders._

In the end, Fenris conceded; and eventually he felt only a dull annoyance when the Dalish elf took her spot at the table. It was better a blood mage than an actual abomination – and the further Anders was from Hawke, the more relaxed Fenris was.

Norah brought out the drinks first, and all in attendance quickly grabbed a mug. "So what's on tomorrow's agenda, Hawke?" Varric began, leaning back in his chair with his drink cradled in his arms. "Are we frolicking along the Wounded Coast for precious herbs?"

Hawke, in the midst of taking a sip, almost snorted ale out of her nose. This was an obvious jibe at an earlier conversation the dwarf had with Merrill. Hawke had found the idea of 'frolicking' much funnier than the rest of the companions, and Varric had quickly taken advantage of it. She coughed once and gave Varric a mirthful look. "Watch your tongue." She wiped her mouth and continued, "If you're going to make me choke to death, I doubt we'll be going anywhere after this evening."

"Though it is evident you plan to stay here until the ale is gone." Fenris added. He wasn't certain if Hawke guffawed at his comment, or at Varric's shocked expression. Either way, both Hawke and Varric cracked up while Aveline sighed louder than usual.

"Both of you haven't even had a full mug and you're giggling like the wives in Hightown." Hawke seemed to calm down when Aveline caught her with a stern gaze. "Can you settle down until everyone is here, at least?"

Fenris glanced over at Hawke as she put her hands up in defeat. "Fine, fine. I digress. I'm sure the mystery meat stew will have us all sitting up straighter – oh, hello again Norah!"

The barmaid returned with several bowls of the house special just as Isabela sat down. "Oh, great. I'm just in time for the evening sludge."

"Don't be rude." Aveline shot back, and Fenris suspected it was mostly for Norah's sake. Though, in his opinion, Norah was showing the same level of disinterest as she always did. At a place like the Hanged Man, the amount of people who insulted the food was probably about the same as the amount of people who ordered seconds. When people were desperate for food, they'd eat just about anything.

Anders joined the group not far behind, "I don't care if it has nug in it tonight, I'm eating it." He said, presumably in response to Isabela.

"Ugh. Don't make me puke, Blondie. I'd like to finish my drink tonight."

"I quite like the stew, actually" Merrill chimed in, blowing on a spoon filled with an unidentifiable vegetable (Fenris was _hoping _that was potato and not something else entirely).

"So tell me Hawke," Aveline began, not even looking at her meal. "You mentioned going to visit – who was it again? Gascard DuBois?"

"DuPuis," Hawke corrected between spoonfuls. She took a swig of her drink and wiped the corners of her mouth before adding, "I wanted to do it tomorrow, actually. Emeric told me about him."

"You want to go to Gascard's house in Hightown? Are you mad?" Anders asked.

"Do you have a better idea or do you simply enjoy listening to yourself talk?" Fenris snapped back automatically. He knew how Hawke didn't like him picking fights with the apostate – but just the way the abomination _spoke_ to Hawke was enough to make the hair at the nape of his neck bristle. Anders gave him a hateful glare from his seat before clarifying.

"Let me finish, _beast._"

Hawke hit her spoon against the side of her mug a few times, until they both looked at her. It was made of thick crystal, (most of the cups were mismatched between metals and glass – Hawke was the only one to ever get the latter) and the noise was loud enough that Fenris was expecting it to crack.

"Both of you_ please_." She gave each of them a meaningful look before putting her spoon down. Fenris imagined it to be a weapon she used to signify some sort of surrender. "As much as I am very used to ignoring your bickering, it is getting in the way of our planning. Now, Anders, do you have a suggestion?"

It wasn't a challenge for Fenris to hold his tongue whilst Hawke addressed Anders, but it took a considerable amount of strength for him not to strangle the abomination when it gave him a disgusting look of _satisfaction _over being allowed to continue.

"I was just going to suggest that this be put in motion under the cover of night. It would be much easier not to rise suspicion, especially since it's Hightown." Anders sat back in his chair, and Fenris saw in his peripheral vision how the mage was looking about five different shades of smug. He didn't do him the pleasure of returning the gaze.

"We still haven't been able to find the sick bastard behind all those missing women, and Gascard is our only lead." Varric said, and pointed his finger at Anders. "But we can't wait until tomorrow evening, he might be gone by then. Or worse – he could know we're after him."

"We'll have to go tonight." Hawke concluded. Fenris blinked and looked over at her. "Any volunteers?" she asked with a smile on her face, glancing around at her companions. She looked hopeful, but her good nature quickly dissipated as the silence stretched out.

"If I had known a few days in advance, I'd say yes. But…" Anders said first, and apologized. "I have to return to the clinic after dinner, I promised I would be available for the evening."

Fenris didn't know if he was lying, but Anders always had the most pitiable reasons for being unavailable. He did not want to be the one to accuse a healer of using the sick to avoid helping Hawke. Regardless, Fenris didn't believe for one second that the apostate wouldn't lie if the opportunity presented itself.

"I'll go." Aveline said, interrupting Fenris' contemplation. He nodded in agreement with the Guard Captain.

"As will I." he said, and Hawke flashed him a brilliant smile before turning to the rest of their group.

"I guess since I was the one who suggested it, I'll tag along." Varric raised his hands in resignation, but gave Hawke a smirk.

"Fantastic!" Hawke cheered, offering her mug up for a toast before finishing the last drops of her ale.

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><p>Fenris walked a few steps behind Hawke on their way to Gascard's mansion. He enjoyed being part of their quests, though he would never admit such a thing aloud. He had come to respect Hawke for her no-tolerance policy against slavers, but Fenris suspected her soft spot for mages was because she herself was one.<p>

Fenris had become so accustomed to magic that he could feel even the weakest spell if it was close enough. The exertion of mana in battle was tangible to him, and it made the lyrium in his veins ache. Somehow, Hawke probably knew. After all, they had been fighting together for quite some time.

He refused all healing magic, and only resorted to healing potions when he absolutely needed them. Unlike some members of the party, Fenris had learned to survive by tenacity alone.

When Fenris first joined Hawke's group, she offered to heal his wounds after each battle. The very first time she did, he rejected the offer vehemently. This earned a few dirty looks from other allies, but Hawke shrugged it off in a matter of seconds. He didn't understand how she smiled when he treated her so poorly – but he missed his opportunity to accept her offer, and Fenris found himself feeling something akin to regret. Hawke didn't volunteer to mend his wounds after that incident, and Fenris wondered if she would ever ask or if he had missed his only chance.

Months after, they had been in an exceptionally tough fight and Fenris had dislocated his shoulder. Hawke, like the magnificent woman she was, had finally offered him a healing spell. After all this time, however, Fenris was too ashamed to say yes. He found it within himself to decline politely, and she startled him with a dramatic sigh.

"_I finally find the perfect time to offer you a bit of healing magic, and you still remain stubborn as always!" Hawke had said, sounding incredulous. But when Fenris looked up, he saw a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Though, a bit more polite, I must add."_

"_I appreciate the offer but I am fine." He chose his words carefully, even more careful because his shoulder was a mess and he wanted to curse at himself. He didn't deserve her kindness._

"_How about you let me pop your shoulder back into place, free of charge? No magic, I promise." She grinned, and he knew in that moment that she had no intention of holding a grudge against him for saying no. _

"_Deal."_

Fenris' circumstances hadn't been ideal for a very long time, but if he had to work with anyone, he was glad he ended up with Hawke. She was trustworthy, and he found himself respecting her more and more as the days passed.

"Keep together" Hawke reminded the group, and Fenris came on high alert. Varric broke the lock on Gascard's front door, and gestured for Hawke to enter.

"Ladies first," he smiled at Hawke who grinned back, and then looked to Aveline who followed after Hawke.

"Make sure to take off your shoes – oh, never mind." The dwarf commented when he entered the house after Fenris.

"Aha! That's quite funny, actually." Hawke let out a snort and looked at Fenris' bare feet.

"May I remind everyone that we're breaking into a house." Aveline said, her hand on the hilt of her blade, but eyeing Fenris' feet all the same.

"Could we choose another time to point out my lack of footware?" Fenris finally said, moving his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"Right, sorry." Said Hawke, and took her staff into her hands.

As they moved towards the staircase, Fenris took note of a small writing desk.

"What's this?" Hawke asked, and picked up a letter on the desk. Fenris quickly preoccupied himself, unable to decipher the scrawl on the parchment and too proud to show that it was a problem.

"A Thank You note." Varric said, his tone grim, and Fenris felt his gut sink.

"Let's keep moving." Hawke mumbled.

When they neared the stairs, Fenris felt the lyrium in his skin start to sting.

"Hawke – wait." he said, and before he realized it, his blade was instinctively in his hands. "Do you feel that?" he asked, and Hawke scanned the room.

As if on queue, several shades emerged from the floor, blocking the staircase and front door.

"Well, that's wonderful!" Hawke said, shooting ice magic out of the tip of her staff, freezing several shades and letting Fenris shatter them with a mighty swing of his sword. Aveline ran up to Hawke, taking a defensive position as Hawke backed up and continued with range spells.

Fenris was right to assume that the entire house was littered with shades and abominations. After fighting through several rounds of monsters, they finally reached one of the last rooms, where Gascard was waiting.

Hawke opened the door to find Gascard standing over a terrified woman.

"Help me, please! He's gone mad!" the woman wailed from the floor. Fenris could practically hear the cogs spinning in Hawke's mind, putting all the pieces together as she decided what their next move was.

"You're…you're not him!" Gascard said as the party approached. "Shit…I know what this must look like –" he said, and Hawke folded her arms on her chest. "But I didn't hurt her!"

"So the wild-eyed hysteria is just for show, then?" Hawke asked, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"You don't understand. Someone is after her. I just had to keep her safe! Let me explain!" Gascard was grappling for mercy now, even Fenris could see he was going to lose.

"Alright. We'll see if you can talk your way out of this." Hawke said, and thus, Gascard began pleading his case.

He explained how his sister had been murdered several years ago, and now the same killer was in Kirkwall. Gascard knew it was the same person because of the bouquet of white lilies, and used this to explain why the woman, Alessa, was with him.

"So you're telling me that you're using Alessa as bait, then." Hawke summarized.

"Yes—well, no!"

"He's lying! He hurt me!" Alessa spoke up again.

Gascard turned to look at Alessa. "I've explained this. I need your blood to track you down if he took you. It was for your protection!"

"Let go of me!" she screamed, losing her footing but still running for her life.

"She'll go straight to the city guard! They'll ruin everything!" Gascard pointed to her, and looked at Hawke.

It was only a moment before Hawke made her decision.

"It's a nice story, but I don't buy it." She said, unfolding her arms and grabbing her staff.

"No. I've worked too hard. It cannot end like this!" Gascard said, readying his own staff and summoning shades.

Fenris became surrounded by shades, and as a consequence, separated from Hawke. She was fighting Gascard near the balcony of the room. Alone.

"Aveline! Go help Hawke, I can handle this." He shouted over the clanging of metal. Aveline let out a cry, splitting a shade in two before answering.

"No! _You _help Hawke! You're faster, and I've got a shield." She reasoned, turning and bashing one of the shades with it.

Perhaps it was Aveline's position as city guard captain that stopped Fenris from questioning her, but he moved to the other side of the room, killing all things in his way. He only caught a glimpse of Varric, and heard the mechanical sound of Bianca as he backed up Aveline against the enemies.

"Give it up Gascard!" Hawke yelled over the sound of cracking ice. Fenris saw that she had him in a corner.

"You don't understand! You are blind to the truth!" Gascard said back, and Fenris saw the blood mage concocting a sinister-looking spell. It was a hex.

Hawke built up a fire spell, but Fenris knew that she was too far away to see what kind of spell Gascard was using. He saw the familiar glint of a blade when Gascard brought it down hard over his own wrist. "I will show you what it means to lose everything!"

He was amplifying a spell with his own blood. He was resorting to the same kind of savagery that magisters used in Tevinter – and Hawke was no match unless she did the same. Fenris knew that she wouldn't.

"Hawke, it's a trap!" Fenris cried, but he was suddenly blocked by more shades. He cut at them desperately, trying to get to her before Gascard could unleash it. Didn't she know anything about hexes? Didn't she see?!

Aveline was at Fenris' side, killing some of the shades in their way. Fenris heard an arrow shoot past him, and into Gascard's arm.

"Argh!" Gascard cried, unleashing the spell full-force onto Hawke at the last second. The spell clung onto her robes and found purchase on her skin.

Fenris, now free of shades, ran up to Gascard and grabbed him by the neck. The abomination let out a blood-curdling scream that was cut off when Fenris finally crushed his throat.

"Hawke! Are you alright?" Fenris heard Aveline say, running over to Hawke and setting down her equipment. He looked over and saw his teammates helping Hawke to her feet.

"Is everyone okay?" Hawke asked, her voice weak. She was shaking.

"We're fine Hawke, what happened?" Varric asked and Hawke rubbed her forehead, looking down at the floor.

"I-I don't know. It's too dark, I can't see a thing."

Aveline and Varric both went completely rigid. Fenris felt himself stop breathing.

"The candles are still lit, Hawke." Varric said, his voice now strained.

Hawke froze, and then looked up at the group. Fenris finally saw her usually clear eyes were now clouded over.

She was blind.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR NOTE:** WHOA sorry there, I completely posted Chapter 3 instead of 2, so I'll just post Chapter 3 today as well. Sorry about those who are confused omg.

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><p>It was quiet in Darktown at night. Fenris found himself wishing for some sort of distraction as they made their way to Anders' clinic; partly because he had no reassuring words for their situation, and partly because Hawke was hanging off of him and he had no idea why his stomach was tied in knots at the contact. At first, Aveline had attached herself to Hawke's side, hooking her arm around the smaller mage's shoulders. However, her armor was too bulky, and almost hit Hawke in the nose during several sharp turns.<p>

Varric proved to be too short, and warned Hawke that he would be a poor guide because he couldn't even reach her waist.

"I certainly don't want to make Bianca ASSume anything." Hawke said good-naturedly, despite being blinded not ten minutes prior. Though Fenris saw her smile falter, and so he calmly offered to be the one who would escort her to the clinic.

Fenris was certain it wasn't ideal for her, and he tried to be as polite as possible when he nudged her to loop her arm through his. She hadn't given much of a response when he volunteered, but she obliged and held onto his arm gently. Aside from Varric making comments about Dark Town, and Aveline pointing out where to step, the group was silent. Walking arm in arm with Hawke to Anders' clinic didn't wound Fenris' pride as much as it would have a few months ago, but he had no idea how she felt. Was it degrading to be guided by an escaped slave? Wasn't she panicking at all? Their leader was blind, but it felt as if the rest of their party members were the ones that would be stumbling around in the dark.

When they finally made it up the staircase to the clinic and Aveline announced their arrival, Fenris was a bit surprised that she didn't let go immediately. Or perhaps she would have, if not for her blindness. But she did squeeze his arm in acknowledgement. If Fenris had been the one to lose his vision, he knew he would fair much worse than her. He probably wouldn't have been able to walk through half of Kirkwall, even with the help of the others.

"Thank you." she said to him. She didn't let go of his arm, but had turned slightly to look towards him – through him. Fenris could see the slight crease between her brow, and knew it hinted at something grim that was slowly eating away at her confidence.

"Aveline? What are you doing here?" Fenris recognized Anders' voice immediately. When the rest of them walked through the entrance, Fenris saw Anders' gaze turn from the Guard Captain to Hawke.

"What's the matter?" Anders asked, and Hawke looked sightlessly forward.

"Well for starters, it seems as though it's terribly dark in every room I'm in and nobody is being nice enough to light a candle or two." Hawke joked, despite the joyless situation.

"She's gone blind." Aveline said, crossing her arms over her chest. "We went to see Gascard DuPuis, and he was using blood magic."

"He insisted he wasn't the actual killer but his story was complete nonsense." Hawke explained.

"So we fought him – and man that guy might as well have been a shade breeder. I've never seen so many at once." Varric continued.

"But at the very end, he decided he was too much of a coward to face Hawke without tempting demons. So he cast a spell using blood magic, and now Hawke cannot see." Fenris concluded.

There was a long pause before Hawke piped up. "I really think we ought to make a habit of telling stories like that, it's pleasant when we all work together!"

Anders sighed. "Come take a seat, I'll see if there's something I can do."

Fenris lead Hawke over to one of the medical tables and positioned her so she could balance her arms on the edge and hop up by herself.

"The table is right behind you." He mumbled, letting go of her arm and watching her feel behind herself for the fabric draped off the counter. She quickly found it and moved herself accordingly, taking a seat and dangling her feet off the edge.

Anders moved some of his equipment over before beginning. "So Hawke, I'm right here. I'm going to get rather close to examine your eyes, and I'll keep talking so I don't startle you."

"Contrary to what everyone seems to think, I can hear other sounds besides voices you know." Hawke said, "I can hear the rustling of fabric exceptionally well and, hmm…well, I heard a lot of feet shuffling. Varric even sneezed a few times on our way here."

"But you didn't say 'bless you, Varric'. Isn't that a human etiquette thing?" Varric said, a crooked smile on his face.

"Well usually the person who sneezes is supposed to say 'excuse me', out of politeness."

"I was too busy covering my mouth in preparation for the next sneeze…Out of politeness."

Hawke chuckled at Varric's reply, while Anders grew increasingly more impatient. Fenris figured Hawke was trying to cover up the jab at her pride rather than making an attempt to guilt Anders over his comment.

"Regardless, my point was that I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Anders ended Varric and Hawke's banter, pressing his fingers at one side of her temple, peering into one of her eyes.

Suddenly, the entire situation felt very intimate. Fenris wasn't entirely familiar with medical practices, but it seemed a bit invasive to be in the room while Hawke was being examined. Though, the others didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

"It seems as though your cornea wasn't cut or burned, but there's a slight clouding in and around your pupil…" Anders mumbled, seeming to be talking more to himself than anyone around him. He wrote down something quickly in a notebook and flipped through it to an earlier entry. He spoke a bit louder when he asked, "You said this was blood magic?"

"I saw him cut open his wrist when he was being cornered by Hawke. There is no other explanation." Fenris replied, feeling slightly irritated that Anders' tone suggested he was doubtful.

"The guy had hundreds of shades and a few rage demons fighting for him, Blondie. It's pretty clear he's not afraid of a little blood." Varric crossed his arms over his chest, looking around the group. Aveline seemed to nod in agreement.

"I've only seen mild cases of blindness that are temporary." Anders explained, running his finger along one of the pages of his notebook. "There is a hex that is used amongst some mages. It is a disorientation spell that can have blindness as a side effect. It's commonly referred to as the 'Misdirection Hex'." Anders explained. "If it is as I believe, your vision should return in a few hours."

"Does the Misdirection Hex require blood magic?" Hawke asked, and Anders shook his head.

"No, it doesn't. That's the part that worries me. But for now, I'm saying that your blindness will probably be gone by tomorrow."

Hawke mulled over Anders' conclusion, running her fingers over her mouth a few times in contemplation. She paused, and then sighed. "I don't know Anders. Normally I'd say 'I'll look into it' and go back to my library to do some research myself. However, as it stands, I can't see a bloody thing so I can't help."

Fenris felt odd at Hawke's revelation. At the mention of reading, it hit a nerve and he suddenly realized that she was about as helpless as him now. He couldn't understand the words, but she couldn't even see them on the page.

"I'm sure I must have at least a few books in my collection that talk about hexes and blood magic. I'll spend some time looking them up, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you're healed by tomorrow, come by the clinic to let me know." Anders said, and Hawke nodded, smiling weakly.

"It's getting pretty late. We should bring Hawke home and call it a night." Aveline said, and Fenris stepped up to Hawke as she hopped down from the table. She didn't move for a moment, but then tentatively called out his name.

"Fenris?" she asked, and held out her hand helplessly. For some reason, seeing her like that twisted his stomach. Suddenly, the woman who always lead, and who was always so sure of herself was now quite the opposite. For all the trust he put in her, he hoped she would do the same for him. He gently took her by the wrist and guided it into the crook of his arm.

"This way." He said, trying to make his voice gentle, but grimaced as it came out just as gruff as usual. It surprised him to see that Hawke smiled in return.

"Thank you Anders, and good night." She said before being guided out of the clinic.

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><p>"I'm going to head back to the Hanged Man for the night, you sure you're alright without me Hawke?" Varric asked, as they stopped in Lowtown. Hawke nodded in reply.<p>

"I'll be fine Varric. As long as I can find my way home and into bed, sleeping will be quite easy." Hawke paused. "You know, considering how everything is already so dark."

"I'm glad you've retained that sense of humor through all this." Varric gave her his trademark crooked smile and bid them both a good evening.

They travelled into Hightown markets before Aveline spoke up. "Would you like me to keep you company, Hawke? You know I wouldn't mind."

Hawke gave her a short laugh. "You and Varric dote on me so often, it's a wonder you're not my mothers instead."

"I'm serious. I could even explain what happened to Leandra."

"It's alright Aveline, I'm sure this is only temporary. You've got a lot to do now that you're the Guard Captain, so don't worry about me." She paused and then smirked "Besides, I think I'd rather be the one to tell her, and I don't want her chastising you for letting me 'run off into battle'."

"You could use a stern talking to, you know."

"Ha ha."

Hawke and Fenris both said goodnight to Aveline, and then continued up to the mansion district.

"Stairs," Fenris warned, and slowed down for her to feel along the brick surface.

"For someone who's usually so sour, you're very good at helping people." Hawke joked.

"I think you forget what I was before arriving in Kirkwall." Fenris said patiently, but with a slight sourness. He understood Hawke well enough that her teasing meant no harm, but he was still on the run. "Being a slave in Tevinter means that you are always travelling with your master. Denarius enjoyed displaying his own possessions, which included myself."

"What a surprise! I never figured Denarius to be an exhibitionist." Hawke said in mock dismay. Fenris couldn't help but let out a short laugh. It was a deep, raw thing. His voice only becoming used to doing such a noise in the presence of Hawke.

"So you just went with him wherever he travelled?" she asked.

"I was his bodyguard. It is not uncommon for Magisters to have them. Only the most intimidating slaves are given the role—"

"Hence the tattoos, I suppose." Hawke finished for him.

"Yes."

They walked in silence for a while. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Have I made you upset?" Hawke asked, and Fenris blinked.

"No. Why?"

"It's strange – I can't see your expression so I don't know what you're thinking."

"Are you suggesting you usually know what I am thinking?"

"Ok, maybe not all the time, but I'm good at guessing –"

"Stairs." Fenris warned, and they both paused to let Hawke gain her surroundings.

"Oh, thank you. As I was saying…what I really meanis that usually I can tell if I've made you angry because your eyebrows knit together, and you look like you want to kick my shins."

"If I were truly angry, I do not think your shins would be an immediate target."

"I guess you do have your conveniently sharp gauntlets. I'm sure those come in handy when you want to puncture chests."

They reached the front door to Hawke's estate, and Fenris stopped. "We are here." He said.

"Thank you for delivering me safely, Fenris." She said, and then smiled.

"Is anyone home to see you inside?" he asked, and she nodded. He instantly regretted asking such a thing, it was none of his business. But Hawke answered nonetheless.

"Yes, mother might be gone but Bodahn and Sandal never leave, so I suspect they won't let me bump into any furniture or fall into the fireplace."

Fenris smirked as Hawke unhooked her arm from his. She felt along the wall to the door handle, but turned to look in his direction.

"I'm glad we got to talk Fenris." She said, her eyes staring past some of the greenery that had crawled in between the entrance to the door. "I'm sure my eyesight will be back by tomorrow, and we can all celebrate with a few rounds at the Hanged Man." She said cheerfully, and then opened the door to the estate, closing it behind her.

Fenris had a sinking feeling in his gut that Hawke would be forced to walk in the shadows much longer than she anticipated.


	3. Chapter 3

When Hawke awoke the next morning, she saw nothing. At first, she figured it was past midnight or her blinds were pulled shut – but then the previous day's events finally caught up with her and she began to panic.

She felt beads of sweat on her forehead, and the hair on the nape of her neck felt hot. Her breathing became erratic, and she had to force her head between her knees to calm down. Hawke wrapped her arms around her legs and held that position for an immeasurable amount of time. She decided it was easier to just keep her eyes shut for the time being; to pretend. Because Hawke knew the moment that reality finally sunk in – the fact that she may not get her vision back – shook her deeply.

It wasn't like yesterday. Yesterday, Hawke could hide behind a fake diagnosis. She could say that the effects just hadn't worn off yet. But now it was past that point, and she still couldn't see. The only person who had any idea what Hawke was inflicted with was dead. Today she was truly blind. Today marked the day she became a sightless leader.

"Mother?" Hawke called, pulling her bedsheets up and over her head like a cape. If she were to be completely honest with herself, Hawke felt like crying. "Mother? Bodahn, is anyone there? I need help."

"Messere? Would you like me to come in?" Hawke heard Bodahn call and she immediately turned to the direction of the door.

"Yes, it's fine! Come in."

Bodahn opened the door and walked in a few steps. "Your mother is still sleeping. How is your eyesight this morning?"

"I can't see anything." She said, trying to sound frustrated but ended up just sounding frightened.

"Oh my…this is terrible news indeed! Can I do anything to help?"

"I need someone to help me to Anders' clinic. Send word to Varric first, and if he can't help, I'm sure he can redirect the message to someone who can."

"Forgive me for asking but did someone help you to the estate last night? Perhaps they could escort you back to the clinic." Bodahn suggested.

"It was Fenris, but I don't want to impose." That, and she didn't want to alarm him with her crumbling composure.

Bodahn left the room to do as Hawke instructed, and Hawke was left with the task of finding her armor. She distinctly remembered laying it somewhere on the ground…

Ah! Found it! She heaved on all the different pieces with relative ease. The perks of wearing armor all the time is that you memorize what it looks like, even in the dark.

Another knock at the door. "I'm terribly sorry to bother you again but there is a gentleman waiting at the entrance for you."

Who could have possibly arrived so fast? "Bodahn did you send those letters already?" Hawke asked, walking a few steps to the door and feeling her way to the handle. She opened the door and Bodahn answered feverishly.

"No messere! I only just sat down to write them a moment ago."

"Hawke? Are you there?" came a familiar healer's voice.

"Anders? Is that you?" Hawke called, and then Bodahn lead her to the staircase, where she made her way down while holding the railing.

"So I see you've noticed the hex hasn't gone away." Anders' voice was bleak. They were lead into the study, where Hawke sat in one of the chairs by the fireplace.

"Did you get any new information?" Hawke asked. She could hear him pacing on the carpet.

"Yes, I managed to find some information on hexes that included blood magic." He replied, but then didn't continue.

"Anders, it would help if you told me." She finally said, crossing one leg over the other.

"Sorry, it's just that you're not going to like what I have to say."

"Waking up and being unable to see an inch in front of my face is a good indication of how high my hopes are for a simple solution. Just tell me."

"Alright," Anders stopped pacing, and the room went silent except for the crackling in the fireplace. "It would be simple if this were a normal hex, however, with the addition of blood magic, you're looking at extremely powerful, and perhaps permanent effects."

Hawke felt her stomach drop, and she lowered her head.

"There could be a tiny mutation in your eyes that I cannot see. An important component of your eyes could have been displaced or burned off entirely. I don't know for certain, but what I do know is that this is much more severe than I thought." Anders sighed, and then continued.

"When you said blood magic last night, I didn't want to believe it because that would make the hex much more sophisticated and dangerous. I cannot help with simple spirit healing. You're looking at a complex spell that may require someone familiar with both blood magic, and the demons connected with it."

"Did I make it in time?!" came a familiar Dalish accent. Soft jogging came to Hawke's attention, and it soon stopped close to Anders' voice. "Anders, I'm so sorry I'm late, I got lost and had to retrace my steps four times. You wouldn't believe the amount of crumbs – oh Hawke!"

Hawke felt small arms wrap around her neck, and took a moment to recognize it was a hug.

"It's good to see you Merrill – er, well, it's good to hear you, at least."

Merrill stepped back and touched Hawke's hand. "I can't believe this would happen to you! Anders explained everything to me. We should go see the Keeper on Sundermount as soon as you're ready. Oh, look you've got your armor on and everything, how lovely!"

"I would bring you to Sundermount, but I think it would be best to get Aveline or Varric to come with you instead. I will stay in the clinic and do as much research as I can, just to make sure I haven't overlooked anything." Anders explained, and Hawke nodded once.

She was already dreading the news.

* * *

><p>Varric arrived shortly after Hawke sent out word, and when they left the estate to get Aveline, the party bumped into Fenris.<p>

"Good morning Fenris!" Merrill called out, and Hawke didn't need her vision to know Fenris was trying his best not to sneer at the blood mage.

"Fenris? I didn't think you'd be up so early." Hawke teased, her head moving slightly, trying to detect any sort of noise he was making.

"I am always up early."

"No rest for the wicked, Broody?" Varric joked.

"We're going to Sundermount," explained Hawke before Fenris could reply to the dwarf. "Anders asked Merrill to take me to the Keeper. He didn't know what kind of hex we were dealing with so he wanted me to ask the Dalish."

"They're going to be so thrilled to see us." Varric added, and Hawke laughed shortly in reply.

"Well they're always so pleasant, I just love visiting them. They seem so willing to help whenever I ask even the simplest tasks!" Hawke continued her dramatic sarcasm until Merrill interrupted.

"Oh, well, I don't know about that…they're a bit tiresome sometimes, and – oh. That was sarcasm."

"You got it, Daisy."

"Anyway, since you're here, maybe you'd like to tag along?" Hawke asked Fenris.

"If that is what you wish."

Hawke groaned, folding her arms over her chest. "Is that what you want, Fenris?"

He paused for a moment, considering her words. "Yes."

"Okay then." She said, letting her arms loose and holding one out to his. She heard Merrill and Varric shuffle onward, talking as they headed towards the stairwell. To her surprise, she felt the cold metal of Fenris' gauntlets on the inside of her wrist, but the warm underside of his palm on her fingers. He guided, with her hand in his, her arm into the crook of his elbow and gently let go of her hand. Hawke held onto his arm, feeling much more self-conscious than the previous night.

"Are you alright?" Fenris asked and Hawke flinched, unaware how absorbed she was in her own thoughts.

"I've certainly been better." She confided.

"I am sorry." He spoke softer now.

"Why in the world would you be sorry, Fenris?" she angled her face to look at him.

"I could not reach him in time. If I had only gotten there sooner, I could have prevented this."

"I wasn't being careful, and that's not your fault." Hawke said, but didn't hear Fenris say anything in return.

When they reached the edge of Sundermount, it was mid afternoon. Merrill took position in the front, while Varric took a position on Hawke's left. She suddenly felt very much like a child. She couldn't see, so she couldn't fight. If a dangerous enemy were to approach them, what could she do? Fenris would have to protect himself and her.

Hawke was officially a burden. That kind of revelation did not settle well with him.

"Watch your step, shem." Came a Dalish accent, somewhere on Hawke's right. She heard the familiar murmur of elves amongst themselves, probably complaining about her entire party.

"I sure do love being in the Dalish camp, it's probably on my list of favorite places to be." Hawke jibed. She felt Fenris hold her arm a bit tighter, and they were walking a bit faster than before. Clearly trying to avoid as much scrutiny as possible.

"Andaran atish'an, Lethallan." Came the soft voice of the Keeper. She felt Fenris relax slightly, slowing down and coming to a stop.

"Andaran atish'an, Keeper." Merrill replied.

"What brings you back to us?" the Keeper asked, and Hawke was suddenly hit with the horrible realization that she didn't want to hear what the Keeper had to say. She didn't want to know that she was permanently blind. As soon as that claim was validated, the reality of it might just crush her.

"Hawke has been cursed with a tainted Misdirection Hex." Merrill explained, and stepped out of the way between Hawke and the Keeper.

"You are speaking of the use of blood magic, are you not, Lethallan?" the Keeper asked, and Merrill meekly replied with a yes.

Hawke knew the Keeper stepped forward, and she felt Fenris' grip on her arm falter, but she quickly clenched her hand around his forearm, preventing his escape. He seemed to hesitate before ceasing his efforts completely, keeping a gentle grip on her arm with his own.

"Allow me to look at your eyes, child." The Keeper spoke softly, her hands coming to rest gently on either side of Hawke's head. The group was silent for an immeasurable amount of time while the Keeper peered into Hawke's eyes, and then she stepped back.

"It is as you suspect. The light in her eyes has faded, and it was caused by powerful magic. Ir abelas, losing your sight is a dreadful thing."

"Is it reversible?" Fenris asked, and Hawke felt the vibrations from his voice travel through where their arms were joined.

"With a large amount of mana, perhaps. Though, it would be a slow process." The Keeper replied.

"It would have to heal over time?" Merrill asked. "Like a broken limb?"

"Yes, I believe so. However, using that much mana would require an outside source. It is too much for one person." Said the Keeper. "And healing something as delicate as the eyes would require immense concentration. You are at risk of draining your mana pool before you truly begin any healing."

"You mean…" Hawke closed her eyes. "Theoretically, I could heal myself. But I have to be replenishing my mana pool constantly? That sounds impossible! I'd have to be drinking lyrium potions all day!"

"That is what I suspect. However, I do not sense any lingering taint. The blood magic was used as a binding spell and made the hex much more powerful. That is all." The Keeper reassured her, but Hawke didn't feel comforted.

"How long would it take to get Hawke's eyesight back to the way it was?" Varric asked.

"It depends on how large your mana pool is. It could take weeks. Perhaps months, and at most it would take almost a year."

Hawke felt her stomach turn, and she gripped Fenris' arm harder. She was going to be sick. She heard murmurs of disapproval and shock, but felt nothing coming from Fenris.

"Lyrium potions are normally used to replenish mana, we could buy a bunch of those and you could drink them as you heal," suggested Merrill, but Varric disapproved of that idea.

"That's going to cost hundreds of sovereigns! Even if we collect the lyrium ourselves you're still looking at really expensive prices to have someone process it into potions." The dwarf explained.

"Besides, I can't drink lyrium potions and heal myself the same time. It would be possible if it weren't a place so delicate, but I could easily screw up my eyesight for good." Hawke explained.

The group was quiet. As Hawke opened her mouth to speak again, Fenris' voice came out first.

"You would need an abundance of lyrium." Fenris said, "Lyrium that replenishes itself, that comes from an outside source."

"Fenris?" Hawke called tentatively. She didn't like where this was going.

"Would my markings be a sufficient source of lyrium?" Fenris asked, directed moreso at the Keeper than at Hawke.

"No." Hawke said, shaking her head.

"If your markings are made of pure lyrium, it is possible to transfer that power to Hawke." The Keeper replied to Fenris, regardless of Hawke's dismissal.

"That's dangerous!" Merrill cried, and the Keeper hushed her gently.

"It is through my flesh, it would not harm her unless I wish it." Fenris reasoned. He knew his own abilities better than anyone, but it still scared Hawke. Was he sure he could trust her not to mess it up? What if she hurt him?

"You would both need to be under complete control. You would need to push your lyrium into one part of your body – perhaps your hands – and Hawke would have to steadily collect it. Do you think you are capable?"

"Fenris, I don't like this." Hawke warned him, but he paid her no attention. She was a fool if she did not accept the offer. Who else could possibly lead them? She was their leader, and Fenris was going to make sure it stayed that way.

"Yes." Fenris answered the Keeper, and Hawke's mouth went agape.

There was a long pause before the Keeper spoke again. "It is nearing sunset. One of our camps uphill is vacant, and you may set up for the night if you wish it. We will meet tomorrow in the morning, and I will be present to help you control and transfer the lyrium. Dareth shiral."

Hawke was speechless. She continued to be speechless as the group walked up the hill to the next camp, and still remained speechless for the majority of the time they set up. Was Fenris seriously going to help her, and so readily too?

"Hawke, come have some chili! Varric made it extra spicy, it'll warm you right up." Merrill called to Hawke who was sitting near the edge of the camp. Merrill began shuffling over to Hawke with a bowl.

"Careful Daisy, don't spill it in Hawke's lap." Varric said, his voice slightly strained – something Hawke noticed he only really did when talking about Merrill. He really was a doting mother hen.

"It's fine, Varric, I'm not clumsy or anything! Whoop, almost tripped! Hold your hands out, I'll give you the bowl. Just give me a moment to get around this log—"

"Give me the bowl. You do not need to injure Hawke further with your gracelessness." Hawke heard Fenris say, and there was a small exchange before she heard his steady footfall come towards her, and his weight shift to sit next to her.

Hawke said thank you to the both of them, mostly to acknowledge Merrill's effort in trying to help. There were a few instances she recalled Merrill dumping various things into Hawke's lap – wanted or unwanted alike. Water was usually tolerable, but there seemed to be a growing trend of having hot breakfast being dropped on her legs. She was glad Fenris took over, for the sake of her lap.

Although Hawke couldn't see, she was familiar enough with Sundermount to know Fenris had dropped her off in her usual spot – one she usually used on watch. There was a large tree root at her back, and she could hear the whispering of the tree's leaves above her.

"Why did you put me at my watching station?" she asked, eating a spoonful of chili.

"Do you want to change locations?" he asked, and she felt herself shaking her head before she really thought about it.  
>"No, it's not that. I'm just…confused. I can't see, so how can I detect enemies?"<p>

"Perhaps training your other senses will help you become better at it." He explained and she made a small 'o' with her mouth.

"Fenris?" she asked, and he gave a grunt in acknowledgement. "Why did you volunteer to use your markings? I thought you hated them."

"I do. But it does not mean they are completely useless. They can serve a purpose."

"If this works."

"It will, Hawke."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You will not."

"You don't know that!" Hawke finally said, raising her voice in frustration. If she weren't so aggravated, she would have flushed from accidentally throwing chili in his direction.

But sometimes…ugh! Sometimes she preferred it when she first met Fenris. He had been so…so…transparent!

It was obvious when he was cross because he would say so. He wasn't patient, and he certainly wasn't kind. When did it become so hard to understand him? To understand what he was doing, or why he was doing it? It was as if being a friend was harder than being a stranger. Why did he treat her so gently only after she could not see his face?

"What I meant by my question was: why are you helping me?"

"Because you promised to help me."

Hawke turned her head slightly to face him, having finished her meal. She set the bowl down at her feet. "What do you mean?"

"The night you spoke to Anso was the same night you agreed to help me find and kill Denarius. That is when you made your promise to me." Fenris explained.

"Yes but it was such an obvious choice. Why wouldn't I agree?"

"You act as if everyone in the world has your sensibility." Fenris said, and she could hear the teasing note in his voice. "You were the first person I met who did not merely use me for personal gain. Not only that, but you are the first to seem trustworthy enough to keep a promise."

"Clearly you have met no good people in your travels." Hawke scoffed.

"Perhaps." He said. "My point is that you agreed to help me before you were blind. That is enough for me to help you now."

"I haven't caught him yet."

"But I know you will. You are capable."

Hawke sighed. "Don't worry, I don't go back on my word."

"Nor I."

Hawke closed her eyes and smiled, unable to convey her gratefulness through any sort of touch. "Thank you for believing in me, Fenris."

She felt a slight pressure in the middle of her back, and Fenris' voice rumbled in her ear. "Thank you for giving me a choice, Hawke." And then his hand was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR NOTE:<strong>

I figured something new might be fun for a change! I always seem to draw inspiration right when I have piles of schoolwork to do, but I will try to update this frequently. Reviews and comments are always welcome!


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